march's cold kisses upon my cheeks

the lingering summer heat is slowly starting to withdraw and I'm not sure how I feel about it — mid month musings

The lingering summer heat is slowly starting to withdraw and I'm not sure how I feel about it……

The weather this past week has started to actually resemble autumn (though as I write this, it’s 30° and sunny) and my body is barely coping. I’ve been waking up early to a 12° house and a runny nose, and I don’t have nearly enough warm clothing (which is ridiculous because really all I do is buy clothes). despite being someone who yearns for the cold all summer long, I was actually caught off guard by the change. my morning iced matcha didn’t feel right in the freezing mornings, my bedding needed to be rearranged to actually provide warmth, I had to dive into the back of my wardrobe to find my single hoodie (like where the hell do you even get nice hoodies. and do not say mr winston or white fox), I had to rearrange my perfected warm weather outfit combinations that I worked endlessly on………. It seems like I’ve only just adjusted to the summer heat just as it’s leaving.

my new cou cou slip & a lil lioness cardigan

the abandoned church (I still hear music from inside every now and then….) near my house that I visit on my walks

current adorations & fixations

• casual pole classes

• fur/tail keychains (I really want a racoon one but I don’t know if I can commit to real fur, vintage/ethically sourced or not)

• chloè fw25

• miso noodles with a soft-boiled egg, bok choy & cucumber (I have been eating this so often that I have to forcibly refrain from it)

• capri pants

• going for long walks at 5pm

• matcha with milklab’s coconut milk (this milk is so hard to find as you can only buy it individually from cafes but it is my absolute favourite!! I tried it with hot chocolate last night and it tasted like a lamington)

• metallic eyeshadow

• clove tea

• paloma wool fw25

• dark red nails

• clarice lispector

• vintage afghan coats

• bottom lash mascara

• daily hair washes (an unfortunately necessary routine for my chronically oily hair)

• tiny, sharp eyeliner wings

• messy handwriting

• skirts over pants

• oversized/slouchy off-the-shoulder t-shirts and jumpers

• floral midi skirts

• tacky keychains and bag charms

• skyrim

• contortion & acrobatics

• irish wool bed socks

• dry brushing

• early morning yoga/workouts

• avocado, pesto, pomegranate and feta on sourdough

• hip-opening stretches

• polka dot tights

• finger tattoos

• cherry pie

• handmade jewellery with imperfections/asymmetry

• glasses with no makeup on

• party girl 1995 — I watched this and immediately decided I needed to become a librarian

• astrology-based makeup, dressing etc. (I love venus.of.mina on tiktok!! I’m not super knowledgable when it comes to astrology and I find her content very accessible)

• caramelised fig and banana

• stripes, polka dots, tartan, ditsy floral

my recent….

reads — nothing new…..i’ve been in a bit of a reading slump unfortunately </3

watches — house of tolderance, party girl, à ma sœur, yellowjackets, white lotus, sleeping beauty 2011

listens — the twilight soundtrack, did you know theres a tunnel under ocean blvd (we moved on too quickly from this), instrumental jazz, visions by grimes, hiroshi suzuki

purchases — aside from groceries, a black cou cou intimates slip, and some depop finds..….i haven’t made many purchases!! I broke my spending ban within days of march starting but I have been good these last few weeks I swear….

media consumption — marketing difficulty by greta rainbow, a woman’s season in hell & ultra-feminity also makes me feel inhuman by heaven sent honey, clarice lispector’s 1977 interview for tv cultura, heidegger and the illusion of aestheticized loneliness by milk fed

The Years by Annie Ernaux, who won the 2022 Nobel Prize in Literature, is a very political book that’s also very slim (and autobiographical, which they make sure we know by putting Ernaux’s face on the cover). Allison Paller, web manager at Seven Stories Press, which owns the U.S. rights to Ernaux’s corpus, says, “Despite everything that we’re trying to do with [Ernaux’s work], it keeps finding its way online in the same way that Joan Didion finds its way online: there’s a picture of it on a lovely bedspread with a cup of coffee.” — greta rainbow for dirt

The job hunt is still as rough as ever, but I think I’ve gotten more productive with my time. I get up early, I workout, I do some small admin tasks (including job hunting and the dreaded cold-emailing), I write in my diary, I clean my room and the rest of the house, I do my laundry, I play with my bunnies, I read, I cook for my sister, I plan meals for the family, I take my grandmother out for lunch, I explore the city………

I applied for a gallery assistant job a couple of days ago that I’m really hoping works out because I immediately envisioned my life as Charlotte York. I’ve also been thinking about doing a writing course but I was a little embarrassed by my lack of skill, though I guess that’s kinda the point of doing a course.

since my last post, my subscriber count has gone up to nearly 500 (which i am very appreciative of, of course!!) and i’m feeling very #shy and #nervous so please bear with me while I figure out my posting schedule!! I hope to post more and write a wider variety of posts, and I really want to start working on video content (tiktok & youtube) in the near future as well!!

and with that, happy aries season & happy venus and mercury retrograde (godspeed….) !! tell me about your month so far in the comments 🕊️

lot’s of love & warmth,

kayley <3